Side-view Bob

illustration by Frank Conradie

Side-view Bob always sits on the bench

Along with the hammer and spanner and wrench.

His head is so flat and his forehead so wide, 

that - yup, you guessed it - both eyes are on one side.

He can use his head like a racket, a tray or a sword,

Which is why he's found among the nails and the board.

His father keeps him there, next to the vice

(and has only once washed him - to get rid of the lice!)

Though you may wonder what man could use his own son 

Like a common drill or a saw or a nifty screw-gun,

Bob doesn't mind being left with the tools in the shed,

Because, after all, what else can one do with such a flat head?

Side-view Bob

Sweaty Betty

Betty Bordeaux is perfect, but for one major flaw:

The perspiration that drips from her every pore!

Dehydration is Betty's biggest threat,

Even on the coolest of days, she's constantly wet.

With her sweat bands and bottle of H-2-0 never far from her side,

One could mistake her for a jogger, or maybe an energetic tour-guide.

In fact, she's a chemist - knows all about electrolytes and such

She's searching for a cure to her disorder… any luck so far? Not so much. 

Lucky for Betty, her secretions are not of the funky type

She doesn't have the usual sickly-sweet smell of something overly ripe.

So her friends gladly put up with her excess of NaCl, 

(that's sodium chloride for those who couldn't tell)

Because they know she is merely let down by one little gland. 

And when they're in need, Sweaty Betty's always there with a helping hand.

Sweaty Betty