Otto (The Incredible)

Otto, The Incredible did everything in reverse.

In fact - true's God - he even started out in a hearse!

He had a crick in his neck from always looking over his shoulder,

But luckily that eased up over time, the less he got older.

Many struggle moving forwards in life, Otto's not the only one. 

At least he faces his past (it's not something from which he can run).

With life-experience behind him, Otto was wise beyond his years,

And with no need for hindsight, he'd usually avoid unnecessary tears.

But surely the greatest thing about living in the past tense

Is that, before anything happens, it all makes sense.

So there's little time wasted with confusion and doubt, 

And because it already has... everything always works out!

But what Otto didn't admit, though he must've known deep in his heart, 

Was that, like his name, turning around would get him back to the start. 

Otto (The Incredible)

Game Boy

illustration by Mike Scott

The real world scared him, he stayed in his room.

Days could go by before he'd emerge from the gloom. 

He felt no need to interact with people on the outside,

He had enough friends online. Or so he lied. 

His mother believed him - she didn't play those "silly" games,

So how would she know he'd made up all their names?

Besides, she was too busy earning a living as a single mom,

So for all she knew, he could've been designing a bomb. 

But his habits were harmless to everyone but himself,

The only people he killed were from the games off his shelf.

With nimble fingers and reactions super-quick

He was master of his world and could change it with just one click.

Game Boy

Slow-mo Joe

illustration by Storme Humphriss

Slow-mo Joe is stuck forever in slow motion, 

Moving even slower than the snails in the ocean.

With his every step, other people make three,

With his every blink they make a nice cup of tea.

But from Joe's perspective the world positively whizzes by

Like everyone's in a mad rush and he can never figure out why. 

What is so urgent that it must be done yesterday?

And why is it always "Soon", "Now" or "Right away!!"?

Can no one see that Joe will always get the task done?

Left to his own devices, ticking things off one by one.

You might think Joe would be useless, unable to keep up with the pace

After all, there's a very good reason it's called the rat race.

But in the end, Slow-mo Joe often saves the day

Because sometimes, slow and steady is the only way.

Slow-mo Joe

Mary Jane

illustration by Retha Ferguson

Mary Jane mostly had her head in the clouds up high

But it was her mind that drifted as the days went by

The tiniest thing would fascinate her for hours at a time,

A passing sound; a gentle breeze; silly words in a rhyme. 

She'd often wander off mid-thought - she was easily distracted, 

And you could never explain the laughing fit she’d suddenly contracted.

Her appetite was enormous, especially for a girl so petite

And she could become quite lethargic for someone so light on her feet.

But when Mary was needed to help with the task at hand,

She could always be counted on to join the rest of us on land.

For 'tis true, though MJ was forgetful, and perhaps a little chilled out,

She always had a creative solution for every problem that came about.

Mary Jane

Side-view Bob

illustration by Frank Conradie

Side-view Bob always sits on the bench

Along with the hammer and spanner and wrench.

His head is so flat and his forehead so wide, 

that - yup, you guessed it - both eyes are on one side.

He can use his head like a racket, a tray or a sword,

Which is why he's found among the nails and the board.

His father keeps him there, next to the vice

(and has only once washed him - to get rid of the lice!)

Though you may wonder what man could use his own son 

Like a common drill or a saw or a nifty screw-gun,

Bob doesn't mind being left with the tools in the shed,

Because, after all, what else can one do with such a flat head?

Side-view Bob

Sweaty Betty

Betty Bordeaux is perfect, but for one major flaw:

The perspiration that drips from her every pore!

Dehydration is Betty's biggest threat,

Even on the coolest of days, she's constantly wet.

With her sweat bands and bottle of H-2-0 never far from her side,

One could mistake her for a jogger, or maybe an energetic tour-guide.

In fact, she's a chemist - knows all about electrolytes and such

She's searching for a cure to her disorder… any luck so far? Not so much. 

Lucky for Betty, her secretions are not of the funky type

She doesn't have the usual sickly-sweet smell of something overly ripe.

So her friends gladly put up with her excess of NaCl, 

(that's sodium chloride for those who couldn't tell)

Because they know she is merely let down by one little gland. 

And when they're in need, Sweaty Betty's always there with a helping hand.

Sweaty Betty